I feel like having a cigarette! I just arrived back home after two separate visits to a doctor this morning. I first saw an E.N.T. Those are the doctors of the ears, nose and throat. If I had been the chief of medical acronyms, I would have pushed for throat, ears and nose so those doctors would be known as T.E.N. Even nose, ears and throat would have been in the running, as N.E.T. is very catchy. The title E.N.T. lacks any kind of flare. It would be a step forward for the image of the medical profession if patients could say that they "have a TEN for a doctor". A doctor who is a NET also summons up the positive image of protecting those under the (care of) NET and also of the NET being utilized to catch things (such as aliments and diseases).
The second doctor I visited was a dentist. Sometimes it is easy to forget that dentists are doctors too. The term "doctor" is used much too liberally in today's society. Chiropractors are doctors! Really? Many of my university professors were Dr. This and Dr. That. These people are academics, who have reached the summit of the educational Mount Everest. They can go no higher in that field in terms of getting additional degrees. This degree happens to be called a Doctorate, thus explaining why they choose to refer to themselves as "Dr.". After all the years in school and the money spent, they deserve a special title. I'm just not sure that "Dr." is the one they should be using.
In today's world, there are easier ways to get this handle. Get a job at McDoanlds and you'll have an opportunity to go to Hamburger University. You can bypass the bacholar and masters programs by going through the drive through. Just place an order and in no time at all you'll be known as Dr. Burger MD (McDonalds Doctor). Ninety billion satisfied customers can't all be wrong.
My standard for someone being able to call themselves "Dr." is whether or not they penetrate the human body. I'd better clarify that somewhat or else a lot of people I know suddenly became a part of the medical profession. The penetration has to be solely for medical reasons!
Over the years, I've had all types of probes stuck in just about every orifice of my body. I've been cut open, had things removed, and been stitched back up. The skill of these "real" doctors is surely something to behold. They have to learn so much about human anatomy and also keep abreast of the advances in treatments and medications. Doctors also have to use the latest technological aids to diagnose and treat patients. Micro-cameras are now small enough to be put into our bodies. I have benefited from just such technology. While the doctors were exploring they were kind enough to allow me to watch the monitor and gaze at my insides. The video of my vocal cords in action wasn't too bad. The images of my bowels and getting to revisit with the previous evening's supper (hamburgers).......not so nice. I hope that camera never got used on the next patient.
I wonder what goes through the minds of real doctors when they are doing the dirty part of their jobs? I'm certain that they became doctors because of a genuine desire to help people. That being said, they must also have the ability to separate the patient from the affliction. How else would they be able to keep going to work each day knowing that they will see so many penises and buttocks? Then again, their job sounds just like every other job, where dickheads and arseholes abound. Every other job that is, with one exception - being the hamburger doctor at the local McDonalds.
No comments:
Post a Comment