What a horse's ass I turned out to be this morning! It seemed like a fairly innocent comment. At the very least, it was one that was meant to be funny, with a touch of father-to-daughter "love you no matter what" thrown in for good measure.
Avery, 12 years young and new to the wonderful world of junior high, was struggling with a fine case of bed head. Her mom was in the bathroom with Avery and they were tag teaming to tame the menacing mane. I just happened to walk by at the very moment Lynda had lassoed Avery's hair. I couldn't help it, it reminded me of a horse's tail, so that's exactly what I blurted out and chuckled as I did. Avery burst into tears and Lynda shot daggers at me with her eyes. I scurried off to empty the dishwasher. I understand that a whole lot more than I do the fairer sex.
Normally, my attempts at such humour are met with rolling eyes or maybe even slight smiles that daughters 1 and 2 attempt to hide from my view. (Avery has a 14 year old sister, Kendall.) God forbid that either of my offspring should ever have to admit that their father, whom they've come to call "Didi", actually made them laugh out loud.....I guess to be hip I should use LOL or ROTFL.
Keeping up with the tween and teen Jones's is proving to be too much for my middle aged (and then some) self. I realized this a few months ago. As a dad who is heavily involved in his kids' lives as a sports coach, chef/fast order cook, and taxi driver of the teen horde to and from the mall, I believed I was the bee's knees, the #1 Dad, No doubt I had earned the prestigious label of "cool dad". My bladder burst when my girls informed me that, in their world, cool was actually an acronym that stood for Constipated-Overrated-Outdated-Loser. They ROTFL! I cried on the inside.
As for her hair, Avery won the battle by employing some sort of double bun combination. She looked cute as a button. It turns out it wasn't really her hair that made her upset and that it was other things. I didn't pry. I'm learning.
I drove Avery and Kendall to school but we arrived late. I asked if they wanted me to come to the office with them to explain to the staff why they were late. "No", blurted Kendall, "that's cool." Off they went to join the hundreds of other,s all born since the new millennium. What do they know about the real world? Meanwhile, I'm off to Starbucks to write my blog, have a bran muffin, and a Tall Dark Roast. Hmmmm???? I think the kids could be right, I just may be one cool dad after all!
