How do you know when you have a rock solid relationship? What's the one thing that tells you that your friendship can endure when times are tough? It's not a thoughtful gift, a kind word or gesture, and it's not even making huge personal sacrifices to help out your BFF in his or her time of need. The answer may surprise, but when you read further and reflect on what I have to say, I suspect that you'll be nodding to yourself in agreement. Each of you will have (hopefully) experienced this phenomena, likely many times over. If you haven't, then get off your high horse and join the real world. It's time to smell the roses. I'll use a couple of examples to illustrate my point.
A few days ago, my daughter, 10 year old Avery, had two of her friends over to the house for a play date. Her friends are sweethearts. They are polite, thoughtful and fun. As much as Avery enjoys their company, Lynda and I also love their visits and the way house comes to life with their innocence of youth. I happened to be walk down the hallway on my way to the laundry room and passed the bathroom and its open door. Well, the invisible cloud of poop odour almost floored me. The fan was on, the window open, but neither seemed to be having the needed effect. It was the type of odour that is so offensive that it leaves a taste in your mouth. You probably get the idea! I proceeded to my daughter's bedroom, where the kids were playing. I asked which one just went to the bathroom? Avery and friend #1 quickly responded that they had not, while friend #2 was silent. I looked at her and said "Wow, that was some poo!" She turned a bright shade of red and nodded sheepishly. "Good one." I said and headed back to the living room, although at a quicker pace as I traversed the hallway and the still lingering invisible cloud. I wouldn't give such high praise to anyone that I didn't truly like. I was also elated that friend #2 felt comfortable enough in our home to do #2. She is welcome any time. The only thing I'll need to do is to teach her how to light a match!
Lynda is my life partner, best friend, confidante, lover........Once again, you get the idea. Well, it was probably several years into our relationship before I knew with 100% certainty that she could fart. I suspected that she knew how and likely let'em rip with the best of them. It's just that I never heard evidence to say that she did, nor did I get a sniff or taste of any of her bombs. Then it happened. One day, right out of the blue, my girl told me that she was mine forever and she did it without speaking a word. With a simple toot, followed by a meek "excuse me", our relationship was forever solidified. As a guy, I had been letting them go since day one of our relationship, but to have the fairer sex join the dark side is really the pinnacle of relationship building.
So there you have it. The pivotal "tell", that one clue that tells you that you are liked is as simple as understanding that people poop and people pass gas. Maybe that's why flatulate sounds so much like infatuate. So please, don't hold back.
I have one final word of caution for you ladies. Your man may be so overcome by your show of affection that he may feel the need to reply in kind. It's sort of our way to say that we get the love message that you've laid on us. Here's what you can expect: it's known as a Dutch Oven and it's performed when a couple is in bed together. The guy flatulates and at the same time raises the blankets over the head of his chosen one, thereby letting her enjoy the full effect of his inner aroma. What can be more romantic! My last piece of advice to you ladies is do not....DO NOT try to light a match while inside the Dutch Oven. It's a very bad way to ignite a relationship.
