There’s no question that children are maturing much younger these days. At least in the physical sense. One only has to look at the size of the boats that most teens and preteens wear on their feet. My size 11 triple E’s are mere kayaks when parked next to their long liners drying on the mat beside the front door. Our kids may be bigger, but I’m not sure that they are any wiser than any previous generation. I have to keep reminding myself of this, as I’m beginning to see some subtle changes in the behaviour of Kendall, my 10 year old daughter.
We have recently let her have her own email account. She has caught on to the emailing and chatting phenomena that has swept over people of all ages. Just try and look over her shoulder and look at the computer screen when she’s chatting. That is a big no-no. Even though she knows that we monitor her accounts, there has to be at least the appearance that she has her independence. A sign has also appeared on her bedroom door. It reads “Do not Disturbe”. We pretend not to notice the spelling error and we also tend not to heed the sign. That’s what parents do. Kendall’s response has been to say nothing and to add a second sign - a hand drawn, red coloured STOP sign. Maybe the next time when she’s calling out at 1 a.m. for a drink of water, my response will be “I would but I’m not allowed in your room. Sorry.”.
I am also starting to hear new word being used by Kendall. The word of the moment is “random”. Everything is random to Kendall. Anything her younger sister says is random. The plot of TV shows on the Family Channel are random. What we give her for supper is random. Well, that’s pretty true! Meal planning has always been a pain in the behind in our household. The exception is when Grammie invites us down to her place for a feed, but even I would say that those invitations are all too random. Kendall is no different from most of her peers. I am a hockey coach for 9 and 10 year olds, so I get to observe lots of kids who are going through the same stage in development as Kendall. One of my players actually called me “random” during a recent practices. Is that a compliment? What does that mean exactly?
All adults were kids themselves. Just think back on your own youthful experiences. The words painful, confused and awkward probably apply, at least in some way, as apt descriptors of your transition from a naïve child to a burgeoning adult. In my own case, my physical development was way ahead of my ability to comprehend exactly what was happening to me. It was also occurring at a time when my grandmother was dying from cancer and we were learning about emphysema in school. My dad smoked a pipe and the rest of the family might as well have too because of the amount of second hand smoke that we inhaled. In my young mind, I was sure to get cancer, one way or another. I kept my ill-conceived thoughts to myself and let my mind continue to distort the truth. I see that same secrecy trait in Kendall, so I will work hard to make sure the veils of secrecy does not negatively impact on what should be a wonderful life.
It is important to keep the lines of communication open. I don’t believe parents should befriend their children. They need us to be parents first and foremost. We can learn so much just by listening. It will probably give us a smile too. One of Kendall’s friends came home from school and declared that the teacher had spouted the “p” word and the “f” word. His mother played along and asked what exactly did the teacher say. The 10 year old replied that the teacher said: “penis” and “fagina”. Smiling yet?
The next ten years should prove very interesting in our household. I am the sole guy living under the same roof with four gals. In the upcoming decade, my daughters will be going through their teen years, my wife will be menopausal, and my mom will continue to display her fierce independence even when she hits 80 years young. Did I say interesting? Perhaps a better word would be testing. It sounds like my life will be anything but random.
We have recently let her have her own email account. She has caught on to the emailing and chatting phenomena that has swept over people of all ages. Just try and look over her shoulder and look at the computer screen when she’s chatting. That is a big no-no. Even though she knows that we monitor her accounts, there has to be at least the appearance that she has her independence. A sign has also appeared on her bedroom door. It reads “Do not Disturbe”. We pretend not to notice the spelling error and we also tend not to heed the sign. That’s what parents do. Kendall’s response has been to say nothing and to add a second sign - a hand drawn, red coloured STOP sign. Maybe the next time when she’s calling out at 1 a.m. for a drink of water, my response will be “I would but I’m not allowed in your room. Sorry.”.
I am also starting to hear new word being used by Kendall. The word of the moment is “random”. Everything is random to Kendall. Anything her younger sister says is random. The plot of TV shows on the Family Channel are random. What we give her for supper is random. Well, that’s pretty true! Meal planning has always been a pain in the behind in our household. The exception is when Grammie invites us down to her place for a feed, but even I would say that those invitations are all too random. Kendall is no different from most of her peers. I am a hockey coach for 9 and 10 year olds, so I get to observe lots of kids who are going through the same stage in development as Kendall. One of my players actually called me “random” during a recent practices. Is that a compliment? What does that mean exactly?
All adults were kids themselves. Just think back on your own youthful experiences. The words painful, confused and awkward probably apply, at least in some way, as apt descriptors of your transition from a naïve child to a burgeoning adult. In my own case, my physical development was way ahead of my ability to comprehend exactly what was happening to me. It was also occurring at a time when my grandmother was dying from cancer and we were learning about emphysema in school. My dad smoked a pipe and the rest of the family might as well have too because of the amount of second hand smoke that we inhaled. In my young mind, I was sure to get cancer, one way or another. I kept my ill-conceived thoughts to myself and let my mind continue to distort the truth. I see that same secrecy trait in Kendall, so I will work hard to make sure the veils of secrecy does not negatively impact on what should be a wonderful life.
It is important to keep the lines of communication open. I don’t believe parents should befriend their children. They need us to be parents first and foremost. We can learn so much just by listening. It will probably give us a smile too. One of Kendall’s friends came home from school and declared that the teacher had spouted the “p” word and the “f” word. His mother played along and asked what exactly did the teacher say. The 10 year old replied that the teacher said: “penis” and “fagina”. Smiling yet?
The next ten years should prove very interesting in our household. I am the sole guy living under the same roof with four gals. In the upcoming decade, my daughters will be going through their teen years, my wife will be menopausal, and my mom will continue to display her fierce independence even when she hits 80 years young. Did I say interesting? Perhaps a better word would be testing. It sounds like my life will be anything but random.
