The 5 Second Rule of Engagement - featuring Butter Bowls & Mother's Roles

I have never considered myself to be an overprotective parent.  I frequently...okay, always abide by the "5 second rule" whenever my kids drop an item of food on the floor or ground.  I don't even bother to count if the landing area is a lap, car seat, or the top of the dog's head.  If the landing zone is sketchy then I'll just count to five faster so not as many germs get a chance to hop on for the ride.  So far, it seems, this approach seems to have worked well - the kids are still alive and kicking.

My lovely wife, Lynda, does enough "mothering" of the kids for the both of us.  Case in point was this very morning. I was heading out the door to pick Kendall up at the swimming pool and then drop her at school when I was handed a larger freezer bag containing a copious amount of Cheerios in a reemployed butter container that was now full of skim milk.  Don't worry, a spoon and some napkins were cozily nestled next to the cereal and milk too.  Lynda must have seen the "What the..." expression I was wearing at that moment so she explained that Kendall had said that she hadn't much time in the mornings and wasn't eating her breakfast.  No sense questioning.  Twenty something years of marriage and fourteen plus years as a father has taught me that.

So as Kendall jumps into the car and buckles up for the commute to her junior high school, one that takes no more than five minutes, even in the St. John's' version of rush half hour traffic, I show her the freezer bag that her mother has prepared.  Now it is Kendall who has the 'What the..." look on her face, which appeared as no surprise to me.

I tell Kendall that her mom wanted to make sure that she had her breakfast before going to school. Kendall laughed and went on to explain the recent conversation she had with Lynda that may have been the catalyst for her mom's concern. Kendall had recently mentioned to Lynda that the lineup at the pool's Tim Horton's is often way too long and that she would be late for school if she tried to order from there.  The school's breakfast program, although awesome, is usually out of her favourite breakfast food, bagels, by the time she arrives and that she is usually stuck with having to eat a bowl of cereal.  Somehow Kendall's version of events was interpreted by Lynda as "pack breakfast for Kendall and make sure it is cereal and milk that she will eat in 3 minutes or less with a small plastic spoon while sitting in a car driving up to 70 kph on the Parkway and stops and starts suddenly for traffic lights, traffic, and pedestrians".

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What do you think the odds are that a 14 year old girl would take the chance of wearing her breakfast rather than eating it and showing up to junior high with a huge milk spot on the front of her blouse?  I have found that milk doesn't adhere very well to the "5 second rule".

I'm writing this morning from Starbucks, where wifi is free, offers bottomless coffee with my Gold Starbucks card, and the leather chairs are comfortable, even if they do have more than their share of milk stains. There's no chance I'll be adding to those stains today.  This butter container is actually a very good cereal bowl so the milk will go precisely where it is supposed to.  So tasty and I'm saving $3 by not having to order the bran muffin.  Just one caveat though,  On the off chance that I drop a Cheerio or two on the floor her at Starbucks, then to heck with the "5 second rule".  Some rules are okay to break. I think even Lynda would approve.