Back to the Spa

I did something to my back a few days ago.  Sleeping has been a challenge because no horizontal position frees me from the pain.  It's nothing serious though, I'll survive.  Sleep is overrated anyway.  I don't have the same type of dreams I did when I was a much younger man, which means there's less laundry to do.  The ones I do have usually have me pitted against an unyielding foe or taking on an impossible task, but I always wake up before I know whether I turn out to be the hero or the goat.

Sick of hearing me moan and groan, Lynda was kind enough to give me the appointment she had made to visit a massage therapist this afternoon.  Lynda was using a gift certificate that I had won at a recent charity event.  The appointment was to be at an up scale spa, so it's not the kind of place that simple folk like me visit often.

It just so happens that I had been at this specific spa once before.  On that occasion, I had gifted Lynda with a certificate that entitled her to a massage and hot tub for two.  I crossed my fingers and was rewarded when she took me along to be the "two".  The side by side massage was great; the hot tub for two was fantastic; but the best thing of all was that somebody else would be doing the laundry.

The only fly in the ointment on that spa visit was my experience with the robe.  Perhaps such places don't cater to guys too much or maybe they don't care enough about guys because we're not traditionally the ones who spend any money at these fancy spa places.  When we arrived, they whisked Lynda away and it seemed like she was set to be "Queen for the day" or at least the couple of hours that the gift certificate granted that wish.  I, on the other hand, was merely told to go to the men's locker room, put on a robe, and to meet Lynda upstairs - nothing more, nothing less.  I found the locker room after a few minutes of searching.  It was empty, but there on the bench was a robe.  It was the only one in sight so I got undressed and put it on, although, not before I had a great debate with myself about whether or not to keep on my "tightie-whities".  I was having a massage so drawers could stay on.  I was then having a hot tub rendezvous with the wife so drawers should come off.  I wasn't sure of what spa etiquette says on the subject, so I let my man brain decide.  No drawers it would be.

I met Lynda in the waiting area.  It was a room with several couches, where everyone waited to be summoned for their procedure.  Lynda was already there, as were several other folks.  As I sat down beside her, the robe rode up so that it barely covered half my thigh.  It was a little airy, so I decided I better cross my legs.  I whispered to Lynda that I was all natural under the robe.  She laughed and asked if anyone helped me out at the check in after she was taken away, as this is something that they should have explained to me.  When I told her I was left on my own she then asked how and where did I find the robe that I was wearing.  I told her that was the easy part, as it was on the bench in the change room.  Boy, was I surprised when she told me that I had just put on a dirty robe that someone else had worn and that the clean ones were in the cabinet.  Oh well, the damage was done.  Perhaps that guy made a better decision that I and kept his underwear on.  Hopefully.

On today's visit, I had no major gaffs.  The lady welcoming me to the spa actually told where the change room was located and where I would find the clean robes.  Once again though, I was not told whether to leave on or take off my underwear.  They should not take it for granted that guys coming to this spa will automatically know what to do.  As a man of one previous spa experience, as well as the fact that I wasn't there with Lynda, I knew that the right thing to do would be to keep my drawers on.  Not all guys coming to the spa will be as worldly as I and they may not be able to make such an informed decision as I did today.  Also, by leaving on my underwear, the robe that I used was as good as when I found it.  I didn't leave it on the bench like that unpolished goof from my previous visit.  After my massage, I folded the robe nicely and put it back in the cabinet.  That's one less thing the spa will need to launder.