I went to the hospital today for an ultrasound. I look about 22 weeks along, but I can assure you that was not the reason for the test. I"ll be fine, but the visit made me realize a couple of things. One is that despite being so maligned in the media, our provincial health care system is full of good people doing a job that is often thankless.The second is that doctors, nurses and the various technicians must be amongst the world best poker players. During my lifetime, I have had numerous tests and examinations, but I have never been able to read the minds of these people as they have been poking and prodding me. Those people are way too professional to tip their hands. They are expressionless and stoic. It's what you want your health care person to be, but it's hard on the nerves. I have had myself killed off numerous times because I suspected the sudden silence of the health care practitioner meant they had found something seriously wrong. Surely the extra time that they are taking to look at this or listen to that must mean that I'm a goner? To date, I've never been right. Thankfully. I never want to sit across from one of these people during a game of cards.
I really enjoy a game of poker from time to time. I'm not very good though. My buddies often remind me of my first real exposure to the game. It happened as a 16 year old, while we were on a softball road trip to Corner Brook. I kept getting shelled out, but luckily mom was on the trip with us. I lost count how many times that one night that I said "Mom, I need more money." I told mom that we would be on the "halves", so she keep bankrolling me, two dollars at a time. I learned one very important lesson that night - poker is even more fun when you are not losing your own money. I'd like to think that I've paid mom back, but I don't specifically recall actually repaying her. If she can produce an I.O.U., then I'll have no choice but to fork out the dough, but until that happens, mom is out of luck. Even mom's need to be taught a life lesson from time to time.
The reason I like poker has more to do with the sheer enjoyment of being with friends and the camaraderie, than with the prospect of actually winning. I love to study people too. For the majority of us, our real personality reveals itself during a few hours of low stakes poker. Watching when someone folds em or holds em, as well as how they handle the inevitable banter and badgering, are how you get a good read on your playing mates. As kids, my brothers and I would play various card games with cousins, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and mom and dad. Many a wild game of Pass the Ace has been played in my family circle over the years.
I can recall my older brother, Gord, being described as a stingy card player by our elders. At the time, I wasn't one hundred percent sure what that meant, but it wasn't a handle that I wanted. It turn out that being stingy, just meant that he was a thinker and not reckless. These days, I know no one better than Gord at the game of poker. Younger brother Bill was a terrible card player. He was (and is still today) just too nice. You didn't have to win his match sticks because he would just give them to you if you asked. I shouldn't forget my older sister, Margaret Ann. She was the most devilish card player I ever saw. Perhaps it was a combination of a great memory and the ability to deal off the bottom of the deck that made her so formidable. We couldn't win against her. When match sticks turned into nickels, dimes, and quarters, we boys made sure that the rules included a "no girls allowed" clause. We got away with that only because Margaret Ann moved away from home to attend school in the US when she was 16 years old.
As for me.... well, I'd probably describe my poker playing as unpredictable. No one is going to read me because I can't even predict what I'm going to do next. I've certainly never been accused of having a poker face. Can you imagine if I had become a doctor? Because I can't do the stoic thing, I'd have to mix it up so that my patients wouldn't be able to figure me out. In poker, your opponents do this by recognizing your "tells", which are your behaviour cues that come consistently with whatever type of poker hand you have. In order to counter this if I were Dr. Jim, I would sometimes laugh whenever a guy dropped his pants for a testicular exam or I'd sometimes say "oh oh" during a prenatal ultrasound. On further reflection, there is probably a good reason why I'm not a medical professional. I'd probably be sued so often that I'd be as poor as a pauper. I guess, as I did when I was sixteen, I could always shout "Mom, I need more money." I'd better fold while I still can.
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